SGA 5.16 "Brain Storm" Transcript
Episode Guide
SGA 5.16 "Brain Storm" Episode Guide
Précis
McKay brings Keller to Earth to visit an old rival physicist at his secret research facility. The rival demonstrates a wonderful new invention that’s intended to fight global warming, but things do not go as planned.
Guide | Transcript
Transcript
TEASER
EXT—ATLANTIS, DAY
INT—ATLANTIS MESS HALL
[Ronon and Sheppard gather food from the line.]
RONON
Are you sure you don't want to spend your leave going back to Earth with McKay and the others?
SHEPPARD
Nah. The SGC doesn't have a ZPM, so two weeks on Earth means, uh, three weeks cooped up in the Daedalus. That's uh, five weeks of missing work. We only get one of those every year and a half, so I'd like to save mine for something more special.
RONON
(dubious)
So we're going camping instead?
SHEPPARD
On a beach that's never been surfed or even touched. You know, you gotta get a little more excited about this.
RONON
(unenthusiastic)
Uh-huh.
[Sheppard spots McKay and Keller sitting at a table together.]
SHEPPARD
Hey, check that out.
RONON
What?
SHEPPARD
You think he's ever going to make a move?
[Ronon looks up just as Keller laughs at something McKay said.]
RONON
Who cares?
[Ronon walks away.]
SHEPPARD
(pensive)
Hmm.
[He notices Ronon's gone and follows.]
MCKAY
Say…I know we only get…fourteen days on Earth a year, and-and…you miss your dad and all…
KELLER
But…?
MCKAY
See, one of my old…guy who was doing his doctorate the same time as me…he's giving a big secret presentation about some new thing that he's working on and everyone and anyone in the physics community is going to be there, and…well…See, the thing is, there's this perception out there that, uh, I'm um…like, a washout, recluse.
KELLER
Why?
MCKAY
Well, because I do this for a living. I mean, super double tip-top secret stuff. I mean, I haven't published a paper in a decade&emdash;not one that can be read by the general public, and I'm kinda hard to get ahold of, what with living in another galaxy and all.
KELLER
Yeah, I know what that's like.
MCKAY
Exactly! They think I'm a shut-in. So…I was thinking…that, um, if I was to, say, show up with a woman…
KELLER
Uh-huh.
MCKAY
A-a beautiful woman…that, um, they would maybe not think that I was…like, a complete loser. Like, it would be, like, one day. The first night we were there, and then you could be off to Chippewa Falls. I mean, it could be fun?
KELLER
(coyly)
Hmm. Well, let's see. Uh, a room full of physicists, um, a long-winded presentation I probably won't understand. Yeah, it doesn't really sound like fun.
MCKAY
(hopefully)
Well, there'll be drinks probably, and maybe those little sandwiches? And…me! I'll be there.
KELLER
(frustrated)
You don't have to fabricate all these reasons on why youneed me to be with you. You could just …ask me out on a date.
MCKAY
Hey, I didn't want to…I mean, I know you…
KELLER
I'll probably say yes.
MCKAY
Well, you…you want to go to this thing with me?
KELLER
Sure. I'd love to.
MCKAY
Well, I'd love— I mean, that's…Good! Good. Great. That's…
KELLER
It's a date.
MCKAY
(sighing in relief)
That's a date.
KELLER
So, what's the presentation?
MCKAY
I don't know. I…he doesn't want to tell anyone until we all get there. But, uh, if I know this guy, it'll be, you know, first-class presentation with like, second-rate science. Probably some minor adjustment to someone else's work, but, um, the food'll be good.
[They get up and walk out of the mess hall together.]
KELLER
And the company.
MCKAY
Mmm.
EXT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS FACILITY, NIGHT
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS LAB
[Malcolm checks his data. Kramer enters, holding a paper report.]
KRAMER
Malcolm, have you read this?
MALCOLM
Yes.
KRAMER
Your staff thinks it's reckless to turn this thing on tomorrow.
MALCOLM
Some of my staff.
KRAMER
(admonishing)
Malcolm…
MALCOM
They're just getting cold feet, that's all. Do you remember all that stuff that came out before CERN turned on the LHC? You know, miniature black holes, exotic particles, strangelets, the instantaneous destruction of the planet? All unfounded histrionics. We are going to be just fine.
KRAMER
So you're saying none of these potential catastrophes is going to happen?
MALCOM
Well, there is always the slight possibility that something might go wrong.
KRAMER
The Cause has a lot riding on this.
MALCOLM
Don't worry about it. Your precious "cause" will come out of this squeaky clean tomorrow.
KRAMER
Some of these worst-case scenarios are terrifying.
MALCOLM
(cutting him off)
Of course they're terrifying! They're worst-case scenarios. They are the worst possible thing that could ever happen, ever!
(sighing)
Tomorrow's going to come off without a hitch. We've done hundreds of tests. There is zero possibility for failure.
[Kramer doesn't look as sanguine.]
MALCOLM
(smiling confidently)
Trust me.
END TEASER
OPENING CREDITS
EXT—UNITED STATES AIRSPACE, DAY
[A small private Learjet flies across the countryside.]
INT—PRIVATE JET
[McKay and Keller sit across from each other in the cabin of the plane. Keller is in a black cocktail dress, sipping champagne. McKay is in a tuxedo.]
KELLER
This is exciting.
MCKAY
(chuckling)
Well, it's just a plane.
KELLER
Yeah, but I've never even flown first-class. I mean, this is…amazing. Have you tried these strawberries?
MCKAY
When I was ten, I ate a bowl full of strawberries and threw up. I haven't been able to stomach them since.
KELLER
How does this guy afford all this? I thought he was just a physicist.
MCKAY
Well, he was always able to dupe guys with deep pockets into backing his research, you know? It's amazing what a nice smile and a PowerPoint presentation will get you.
KELLER
Well, I am impressed.
MCKAY
(primly)
Yes. I can see that.
KELLER
Oh, come on. You should be happy for your friend's success.
MCKAY
Well, it's more of an acquaintance than a friend.
KELLER
Acquaintances don't pick you up in private planes.
MCKAY
(scoffing)
He didn't send the jet to be nice; he sent the jet to rub it in my face. Look, I was always one step ahead of this guy during school, and now that we're in the "real world", he wants to show me that, as far as most of the planet is concerned, he's a lot more successful than I am. And what is with the evening attire? We're going to a science talk, for god's sake. Who the hell does he think he is?
KELLER
I-is this is going to be what the whole day is going to be like? Are you going to be in a bad mood?
MCKAY
(chastised)
No.
KELLER
'Cause we're back on Earth in a private jet, drinking expensive champagne, and your date's wearing a fancy dress. Most people would be having a good time, Rodney.
MCKAY
You're right. You're right. Hmm?
[McKay picks up a strawberry and takes a bite. As he chews he spots a picture behind Keller of Malcolm with the Dalai Lama. He puts down the strawberry and grimaces in distaste.]
EXT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS FACILITY, DAY
INT—KRAMER REGISTRATION AREA
[McKay and Keller step up to the registration desk.]
MCKAY
McKay. Doctor Rodney McKay. Doctor Jennifer Keller.
[Security checks their names off a list.]
SECURITY
Yes, welcome. I'll just need you both to sign this non-disclosure and confidentiality agreement.
[He slaps two large reams of paper in front of them.]
MCKAY
Oh, you're not serious.
SECURITY
Is there a problem, sir?
MCKAY
This whole thing is a confidentiality agreement?
SECURITY
Yes, sir.
MCKAY
Well, what could he possibly be doing back there that needs to be kept two hundred pages secret?
SECURITY
(firmly)
If you want to go inside, sir, you need to sign the agreement.
[Keller starts to sign hers.]
MCKAY
Dinosaurs?
SECURITY
Excuse me?
MCKAY
Do they have living dinosaurs back there? Because I'll sign this if he's brought dinosaurs back to life. But short of that, he is out of his mind if he thinks I am going to pretend that whatever discovery he has made is so important and so secret that I have to sign the unabridged works of William Shakespeare here!
[Keller shakes her head and hands McKay her pen.]
KELLER
(annoyed)
Just sign it. Here you go.
[Abashed, McKay takes the pen and signs.]
MCKAY
(defensively)
Oh. You're just lucky the lady's here, aren't you?
INT—RECEPTION AREA
[Several people mill around, sipping cocktails and making small talk. Keller and McKay are near the center. McKay has a plate filled with small sandwiches.]
KELLER
Where do you think we are?
MCKAY
I don't know. Arizona? Nevada? I didn't think people even built secret facilities anymore. It seems so…1950s.
NYE
Rodney McKay?
[Keller and McKay turn to see Bill Nye and Neil DeGrasse Tyson approaching them.]
NYE
I had it on good authority that you were dead.
MCKAY
(unamused)
Oh. Ha ha.
TYSON
And this would be your…sister?
MCKAY
No. No, Neil, you know, she's not my sister. This is Jennifer Keller. That's Bill Nye and (mumbling)
Neil Degrasse Tyson.
[Keller shakes hands with them both. Keller stares at Tyson as if remembering something.]
TYSON
You know, from television.
KELLER
(blinking)
Yeah. Uh…of course. Very nice to meet you.
[She smiles and bites her lip.]
TYSON
(charming)
No, the pleasure's mine.
MCKAY
And, she's taken, Neil.
TYSON
No, no, I didn't mean it that way. No!
MCKAY
Neil likes to steal things from me, things like women and theoretical physics ideas.
TYSON
(to Nye)
Yeah, but who hasn't stolen an idea from the "great" Rodney McKay.
MCKAY
(preening)
Oh, so we admit it now?
NYE
(to Keller)
See, back in the day, whenever any one of these people came up with a new idea or published an new paper, Dr. McKay here would swear that he was already working on something very similar—just hadn't gotten around to publishing it yet.
[Keller shoots McKay a sympathetic smile while McKay steams.]
TYSON
He'd say things like, "I was about to say that very same thing!" Or, "I was just about to have that…same idea."
[Nye rolls his eyes sarcastically and twirls his finger in miming agreement to Tyson.]
MCKAY
Hey, at least I didn't declassify Pluto from planet status. Way to make all the little kids cry, Neil. That make you feel like a big man?
NYE
See, thanks to Dr. Tyson, Pluto is now the first of the Plutoids—a new class of celestial object. It's cool! Come on, Rodney, it's the 21st century!
TYSON
Actually, come to think of it, when was the last time you even published a paper? It was like, the 80s?
MCKAY
(startled)
It…hasn't been that long.
[Keller frowns as she follows the conversation.]
NYE
I think I was listening to that band, A Flock of Seagulls, while I was reading it.
[He chuckles and looks at Keller, who smiles politely and ducks her head.]
TYSON
Actually, it might have been pre-Reagan.
MCKAY
(drily)
Well, it has been great running into you guys. We should…maybe get our seats.
KELLER
Bye.
[McKay walks away. Keller follows. Nye watches them go with a slow whistle.]
TYSON
They can't possibly be dating.
NYE
I know. Well, Neil, you're married, so…
[Tyson flashes his wedding ring.]
NYE
Dibs.
TYSON
(chuckling)
She's all yours.
INT—CARL BINDER MEMORIAL AUDITORIUM
[People take their seats in the auditorium.]
MCKAY
I think maybe this was a bad idea.
KELLER
Why?
MCKAY
Well, I just…remembered I don't…really like these people.
KELLER
Is it that…you don't like them, or maybe, they don't like you?
MCKAY
Hmm, possibly. I mean I…I used to be a little…abrasive?
KELLER
Oh, used to be, yeah.
MCKAY
Well, it's hard to explain. I mean my…field is very competitive.
KELLER
(drily)
Yeah, I went to med school for six years. I wouldn't know anything about that.
MCKAY
Oh…right.
KELLER
Not everything has to be a competition, Rodney. They know how smart you are.
MCKAY
I'm not sure they do.
KELLER
Of course they do. You don't have to keep reminding them. It's called being humble. Have you…heard that word before?
[McKay shoots her a look and scoffs.]
KELLER
Look, we're on our first date and I've come to a physics talk, okay? You have to bend a little bit too.
MCKAY
Humble, eh? I guess I can try anything once.
[She holds his hand. He smiles at her as the lights lower. New Age music plays as a revolving Earth appears on the screen.]
MALCOLM
(voiceover)
Earth. Our home. Our planet. The very vessel of life. Our world—unique, irreplaceable. And yet, at times, it seems like we are unrelenting in our quest o drive our ecosystem into catastrophic failure.
[Pictures of pollution evidence appear across the globe.]
MALCOLM
(continuing, voiceover)
Gone unchecked, global warming will transform this lush world we know today into a lifeless and arid rock.
[The Earth picture transforms into a dried up husk.]
MALCOLM
(continuing, voiceover)
Friends, the stakes couldn't be higher. The situation, no more dire. It's time…to act!
[McKay and Keller exchange looks as the Earth picture dissolves and Malcolm's last name "TUNNEY" appears. Malcolm steps in front of the screen.]
MALCOLM
Hello. I'm Malcolm Tunney.
[The audience applauds politely.]
MCKAY
(caustically, to Keller)
If he's so worried about global warming, why'd he fly us here in a private jet? That spews out more CO2 than Sweden.
[Keller snickers but shushes him.]
MALCOLM
Thank you very much. You're very kind. As many of you know, I am not an environmental scientist. Nor do I pretend to be one. For instance, I shower regularly.
[Many in the audience laugh.]
MALCOLM
(looking at man in front row)
No offense, Larry.
[Larry, a large man with a long fuzzy white beard and wearing an unkempt suit, does not respond.]
MALCOLM
I'm just a concerned citizen, one who realizes that the Earth has carried for us so long, maybe it's time that we…carried her.
[As he speaks the Earth image appears again shrinking to look as if it fits on the palm of his hand.]
MCKAY
(low, to Keller)
That ratio would be accurate if his body was the size of his ego.
KELLER
(grimacing, speaking low)
Yeah. It's a little much.
MCKAY
Mmm.
[A flatter map image of the planet appears on the screen and a common symbol/pictogram of men and women scatter across the continents.]
MALCOLM
Solving a problem like global warming may seem impossibly complex. So many nations, so many corporations, and John Q. Public will have to agree on a dizzying number of issues. So then…
[McKay looks around to see the audience's reaction. The map image disappears and one male pictogram fills the screen.]
MALCOLM
(continuing)
…what can one person do to make a difference? What can I…?
[The pictogram transforms into a picture of Malcolm.]
MALCOLM
…with my particular and unique skill set, do to help?
KELLER
(sarcastic, to McKay)
They think you're the arrogant one?
[McKay harrumphs in agreement.]
MALCOLM
I've been working on a number of projects over the last decade, and I realized that if I were to combine them, I just may be able to achieve something unexpected. So, ladies and gentlemen, with major funding from my friends at Kramer Innovations, I have been able to device a means to cool our planet in a safe and controlled way.
[The screen image changes to Kramer Innovations' logo.]
KELLER
This guy wouldn't know cool…
[McKay ignores Keller, leaning forward, intrigued. Keller notices and pays more attention herself. The rest of audience is also murmuring in interest.]
MALCOLM
Now, the science behind this is immensely complex. But…there will be detailed briefs handed out to you as you leave the lecture hall. But for right now, let me just give you the Cliffs Notes. It begins with a massive heat-sink, one of my own design, which steadily draws heat from the surrounding environment.
[The screen shows a schematic of the heat sink.]
KELLER AND MCKAY
(muttering to themselves)
Where does the heat go?
MALCOLM
(continuing his lecture)
Where does that heat go, you may ask. Well, my friends, that is the hard part. I give you…the Tunney Space-Time Matter Bridge.
[The screen shows a heat transfer bridge between two space-time locations.]
MCKAY
Wait…what?
MALCOLM
Now, this isn't just some theoretical math proof. This is a functioning piece of technology—one that literally moves heat from our space-time and vents it out into another space-time.
MCKAY
(shocked)
That's my bridge…you know, my sister and I came up with that.
[A man nearby turns and glares at McKay. Keller clutches McKay's arm.]
KELLER
Shh.
(to annoyed neighbor)
Sorry.
MALCOLM
And…it works. We've been testing the system for a few months now, and it has proved to be remarkably stable.
MCKAY
(louder)
That's my idea!
KELLER
(whispering)
Rodney, now is not the time.
MALCOLM
For the purposes of the demonstration today, I have surrounded this facility with an electrified plasma grid that will contain the reach of the heat-sink. It will draw heat only from this facility.
MCKAY
(worried)
Wait, he's going to turn it on with us here? I mean…that…this…this is a bad idea.
KELLER
(pleading in a whisper)
Rodney, please!
[The screen behind Malcolm shows 74 degrees -> 64 degrees.]
MALCOLM
And to prove the effectiveness of this system, I will lower the temperature within this facility by ten degrees. Oh, and don't worry, I've turned off the air conditioning, so there'll be no cheating. I promise.
MCKAY
(to Keller)
Oh, I'm sorry, I can't let him do this.
KELLER
Oh, no. Rodney…
MCKAY
(standing, shouting)
Excuse, me! Malcolm!
MALCOLM
(cheerily)
Doctor McKay! Thank you for coming.
[Keller looks around, embarrassed.]
MCKAY
This is a bad idea.
MALCOLM
Well, we're not quite ready for the Q&A session yet, so if you could just wait 'til then.
MCKAY
Let's just…take a look at the data you've come up with…and-and talk about this, because turning the device on with all these people here could be very dangerous.
MALCOLM
Respectfully, I disagree.
MCKAY
Wh-y-you can't do something like this without our consent.
AUDIENCE MEMBER
Sit down!
MALCOLM
(blandly)
You did sign the document when you entered, didn't you?
MCKAY
Well, yeah, I thought that was just…
MALCOLM
(cutting him off)
Then I have your consent.
MCKAY
Yeah, but—Look, I have been doing work that is very, very similar to this.
MALCOLM
(scoffing)
Really? I…don't think that's possible.
[Tyson shakes his head derisively.]
MCKAY
Look, these bridges to other space times can be very unpredictable.
MALCOLM
Do you have any research you'd like to put forward right now? A paper, perhaps? Anything to back up your claim.
[Keller sighs.]
MALCOLM
Rodney, please, tell me this isn't just petty jealousy.
KELLER
(low)
Okay.
[She tugs on McKay's arm.]
MCKAY
Well, no, no, I—I just…
[He stumbles back into his seat, deflated.]
MALCOLM
No, I-I didn't think so. Don't worry, everyone, this is completely safe. And…
[He signals one of the staff who types a command on her laptop.]
EXT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS FACILITY, DAY
[The plasma shield surrounds the facility.]
INT—AUDITORIUM
[The staff member nods and points to Malcolm.]
MALCOLM
…we're up and running. Now, I'll be happy to answer all your questions once you've had a chance to read the brief. But for now, why don't we all go back out to the lobby where hot cocoa is waiting, 'cause it's about to get very cold in here. Thank you.
[Malcolm leaves the stage to applause. Keller leans over and puts her arm around McKay.]
MCKAY
I…
KELLER
Come on.
[McKay stammers incoherently.]
KELLER
Let's go get some hot chocolate, okay?
[She takes him by the hand and pulls him out of the room.]
INT—RECEPTION AREA
[The scientists stand around talking and studying papers. In one area is a full size cutout of Malcolm, holding a beach-ball sized Earth. In the center of the globe is a thermometer that is showing the decreasing temperature of the room. Beside the cut out, away from the crowd, Keller stands by McKay, who is reading a copy of the brief.]
MCKAY
(stammering)
This is…this is…how did he even get a hold of my work?
KELLER
Are you sure this is your work?
MCKAY
Absolutely. Look, you believe me, don't you?
KELLER
Of course I do.
MCKAY
There is no way that he came up with this on his own. We gotta…we gotta…we…come on.
[He jumps a velvet rope and heads to a back area, trashing the brief as he passes. Nervously, Keller follows.]
INT—MALCOLM'S OFFICE
[McKay sneaks into Malcolm's darkened office. Keller reluctantly follows.]
KELLER
We shouldn't be in here.
MCKAY
Stand guard there.
KELLER
Why?
MCKAY
It'll take me a couple of seconds to hack into his computer.
KELLER
(exasperated)
What are you doing?!
EXT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS FACILITY, DAY
[The building is still shielded.]
INT—RECEPTION AREA
[The thermometer shows the drop to 64 degrees. Everyone applauds.]
MALCOLM
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, but I don't think an achievement of this magnitude can truly be credited to one man.
[The female staffer who had worked on her laptop approaches and taps Malcolm.]
STAFFER
Dr. Tunney, sir.
MALCOLM
(to guests)
Oh, excuse me.
[He walks away from them over to the side with the staffer.]
MALCOLM
Yes? What is it?
STAFFER
Well, you told us to shut the device down once we reached 64.
MALCOLM
Yes, that's right. You can shut it down now.
STAFFER
Well, that's the problem, sir. We've tried. We've tried everything in fact. The device won't shut off.
[Malcolm's face falls as he watches the digital thermometer drop to 63 degrees.]
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS LAB
[Several staff and security work controls under Kramer's supervision. Malcolm storms in with the female staffer close behind.]
KRAMER
Malcolm!
MALCOLM
I'm sorry, could you just give me a moment here?
(to another worker)
Here, let me in here, let me in here.
[He types on a keyboard.]
MALCOLM
All right, now, who's been in here?
STAFFER
Just us, sir.
MALCOLM
Uh-huh.
KRAMER
What is it?
MALCOLM
Well, the bridge won't deactivate. I don't understand why it wouldn't.
KRAMER
Shut down the power to the facility.
MALCOLM
Uh, that won't do anything. The system self-generates its own power once it's up and running.
KRAMER
Well, then shut down the containment field. We need to get these guests out of here.
MALCOLM
That won't work either.
KRAMER
Why not?
MALCOLM
Why not? Well, that's impossibly complicated, but…the containment field's tied to the basic operations of the device, all right? It literally can't shut down until we collapse the matter bridge. It's a safety protocol, one I can't reprogram until we power down the device.
KRAMER
So we're trapped in here until you can get this thing fixed?
MALCOLM
(impatiently)
Yes!
KRAMER
Well, what happens until then?
MALCOLM
The bridge will continue to draw heat from the heat-sink.
KRAMER
We've just dropped ten degrees in ten minutes. In an hour, we're going to be below zero; we're going to freeze to death.
MALCOLM
Well, I have activated the facility's heating system. That should buy us a little bit of time.
KRAMER
You said "without a hitch." You'd run hundreds of tests.
MALCOLM
Someone has messed with the system!
INT—RECEPTION AREA
[Keller and McKay stand with Nye at a cocktail table.]
NYE
That was out of line, man.
MCKAY
He stole the work!
NYE
Hey, come on. It was in the middle of his presentation.
MCKAY
He was about to start the thing up! It couldn't wait.
NYE
He brought you here as an olive branch. He wanted to bury the hatchet.
MCKAY
Yeah, in my back.
[The security man from registration approaches the table.]
SECURITY
Dr. McKay? Dr. Keller?
MCKAY AND KELLER
Yes?
SECURITY
Mr. Tunney would like a word.
MCKAY
Ah-hah. Well, I'm guessing that that word is, "I apologize."
[McKay and Keller leave.]
NYE
(calling after them)
That's, uh, two words, genius.
[He goes back to reading his brief and shakes his head.]
NYE
That's one odd duck, that guy.
INT—CONFERENCE ROOM
[Keller and McKay sit waiting in the conference room. Kramer and Malcolm enter.]
MCKAY
(smug)
Ah. Well, it takes a big man to admit that he's wrong, and much as I appreciate it, I, uh, really would prefer that this whole apology thing took place a little more publicly.
[Keller rolls her eyes.]
MALCOLM
(furious)
Are you kidding? You are the one that should be apologizing to me.
MCKAY
(blankly)
What the hell for?
MALCOLM
I invited you here as a courtesy. Out of kindness. You know, most people think you've lost your mind. That you've gone, uh, Howard Hughes.
MCKAY
Just because I don't call anymore doesn't mean I'm keeping my urine in jars. Look, I don't need you to—
KRAMER
(interrupting)
Shut up, I don't have time for this. What have you two done?
KELLER
What have we done?!
MALCOLM
We can't shut the device down.
MCKAY
I told you not to turn it on. I practically begged you, but would you listen? No!
KRAMER
Tell us what you did and how to undo it, and I'll consider not pressing charges.
KELLER
W-we didn't do anything.
KRAMER
Oh really? Explain this, then.
[Malcolm turns on a display. Security footage of Malcolm's office appears onscreen, with McKay and Keller entering.]
KELLER
(on video)
We shouldn't be in here.
MCKAY
(on video)
Stand guard there.
KELLER
(on video)
Why?
MCKAY
(on video)
It'll take me a couple of seconds to hack into his computer.
KELLER
(on video)
What are you doing?!
[McKay and Keller squirm uncomfortably as their video selves argue on the monitor.]
MCKAY
(on video)
If that son of a bitch thinks that he can humiliate me in front of my peers and get away with it, he's got another think coming. I will destroy him!
KELLER
(on video)
Now is not the time, Rodney!
MCKAY
(on video)
There's got to be something in here I can use to discredit that pretentious tool.
[Now it is Malcolm that squirms at the footage.]
KELLER
(on video)
Hurry up, hurry up, someone's coming. Come on, come on, come on.
[The video footage ends.]
MCKAY
(uncomfortable)
Now, look, I can see, how…out of…context…that could seem incriminating.
MALCOLM
(incredulous)
Out of context?
KRAMER
What were you doing in there?
MCKAY
I was looking for a paper I published a little over two years ago. One that dealt with a matter bridge.
[He glares at Malcolm.]
MALCOLM
Rodney, you have not published a paper in a very long time.
MCKAY
You probably didn't even know it was my work.
MALCOLM
(skeptical)
Oh, you're publishing under a nom de plume now?
MCKAY
Okay…here's how I think it went down. You were working with the government. Someone there trusted you…a lot and let you see something you weren't supposed to see, or maybe you were sent something by accident. Who knows? You saw a paper about a matter bridge—a project that was shut down due to the adverse effects of exotic particles. You read it. You realized that if the bridge was used merely as a transfer of energy, say, heat, there would be no exotic particle creation, and thus no adverse effects. So you co-opted the science as your own, made a few changes to make yourself feel better, and got to work, dismissing the original author's warnings about the inherent instability of time-space bridges. How am I doing so far?
[McKay glares at Malcolm who holds a poker face but stiffens guiltily.]
KRAMER
That's preposterous. Dr. Tunney's been working on this for years.
MCKAY
(ignoring Kramer)
That was my work, Malcolm. I wrote that paper.
MALCOLM
(with difficulty)
Terrence, these people may be able to help us.
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS LAB
[Keller and McKay are with Kramer and Malcolm in the lab. McKay looks at the computers.]
MCKAY
This is bad.
KRAMER
The sabotage?
MCKAY
(scoffing)
Sabotage? Please.
KRAMER
(to Malcolm)
Look, you said there was…
MALCOLM
(talking over him)
I may have rushed to judgment.
KRAMER
Can you shut it down?
MCKAY
These matter bridges are the very definition of unpredictable.
KELLER
You know, I-I think I remember you saying something about that before.
KRAMER
Yes or no, Doctor?
MCKAY
I don't know yet. Have you turned up the heat?
MALCOLM
(irritated)
Yes.
MCKAY
Have you noticed this?
[He points to a display.]
MALCOLM
(irritated)
Yes!
KELLER
What is it?
MCKAY
The bridge isn't drawing a consistent load from the heat-sink. Instead, it's…wavering.
KELLER
Why is that bad?
MALCOLM
I wouldn't necessarily call it bad…it-it's definitely not good, but I don't know that I'd go so far as to call it bad.
KELLER
You're kidding me, right?
MCKAY
A regular bridge should draw the same out of energy from the heat-sink at all times. This one is fluctuating greatly…
(inspired)
Maybe we can use that. Wait for it to peak, then overload it and crash.
MALCOLM
That's a good idea.
MCKAY
Yeah, I thought you'd like it, what with it being my idea and all.
[Malcolm shoots McKay a look.]
INT—RECEPTION ROOM
[Nye is with Stephen Hawking. Everyone is shifting and shivering.]
NYE
It's freezing in here.
HAWKING
We get it. It works. Shut it down. I'm starting to freeze in my chair.
[A blue energy bolt passes between them, barely missing Nye but striking another guest, freezing him solidly in place as his glass drops to the floor. The man is now half covered in frost and stiff as a statue.]
NYE
What the hell was that?
EXT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS FACILITY, DAY
[Nye and Keller study the man, who is now lying on the floor, still frozen solid. McKay and Malcolm stand nearby.]
MCKAY
A sudden and dramatic cooling beam.
(realizing)
The irregular power pull from the bridge.
MALCOLM
Oh, so when the bridge makes a sudden demand on the heat-sink…
MCKAY
The heat-sink reacts by drawing power from a single localized place inside the containment field.
MALCOLM
And that beam would freeze anything in its path. Oh…I did not see this coming.
MCKAY
It's…freeze-lightning.
MALCOLM
Freeze lightning? Ooh, I like that.
MCKAY
(defensively)
Well, you can't have it. It's mine. It's…copywritten.
[Keller walks over.]
MCKAY
(concerned)
How's he doing?
KELLER
He's in very bad shape. It's like his whole left side has…been flash-frozen. I have never seen anything like this before.
MALCOLM
(shaking his head)
Oh. Oh, man.
MCKAY
(comforting)
Look, this isn't entirely your fault.
MALCOLM
I—I really hope he signed his waiver.
[McKay and Keller exchange appalled looks.]
KELLER
Er, do you think this is the first time this has happened?
MALCOLM
Yeah, or maybe just the first time anyone's been around to notice it.
MCKAY
So this thing could be wreaking havoc all over the facility.
KELLER
So…this is going to keep happening?
MALCOLM
Yes, and probably with greater frequency.
MCKAY
Okay, this little side effect is going to really hamper our attempts to shut this thing down.
KELLER
And by "hamper", you mean get us all killed.
MCKAY
(regretfully)
Yeah. Something like that.
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS LAB
[Keller, McKay, Malcolm, and Kramer all stand together in the lab.]
MCKAY
We need to call in the military.
KRAMER
I'd prefer not to do that just yet.
KELLER
You're lucky that guy out there isn't dead!
KRAMER
I'm sure these two can get the device back into its proper operating mode.
[Keller shakes her head incredulously.]
MCKAY
(scornfully)
Well, it's a little late for that.
MALCOLM
T-Terrence, things have gotten out of hand. We need to make that call.
KRAMER
We make that call, and the government shuts us down.
MCKAY
Yeah. That's the idea.
MALCOLM
I don't understand. When the device started to malfunction, the first thing you wanted to do was get everyone out of here safely.
KRAMER
To avoid the project being branded as too dangerous to move forward.
KELLER
Well, the cat's out of the bag now.
MCKAY
What, are you worried about all the money you sunk into this? 'Cause that's gone!
KRAMER
No, I'm not worried about the money! We're close to coming up to a solution for global warming! We could save the planet! It's bigger than me, and it's bigger than you. And if we can get the device under control without calling the military, they're going to let us continue our research.
MCKAY
I've got news for you. You can't control it, and you shouldn't continue with your research!
KRAMER
We'll figure it out. I have the utmost faith in both of you.
[He leaves.]
MCKAY
(stammering)
This is ridiculous. Give me your cell.
[He gestures to Malcolm.]
MALCOLM
Eh, it won't work. Not with the containment field up. There's too much interference.
KELLER
You have a land line in your office.
[They leave.]
INT—MALCOLM'S OFFICE
[McKay, Keller, and Malcolm enter. Malcolm picks up the phone. His face falls.]
MALCOLM
It's dead.
MCKAY
Give me that.
[McKay takes the phone from Malcolm and listens for himself as Malcolm rolls his eyes.]
MCKAY
It's dead.
MALCOLM
Mm-hmm.
KELLER
Kramer must've killed the phones.
MCKAY
I don't suppose you have access to the communications room?
MALCOLM
It's a Kramer facility. I just work here.
MCKAY
(sarcastic)
Oh, great.
MALCOLM
Looks like it's up to you and me.
MCKAY
Yeah, we better get back to the control room. Figure this out ourselves.
[The two head for the door.]
KELLER
Wait! W-w-wait, wait. Isn't there like a room full of geniuses out there?
MALCOLM AND MCKAY
(both snickering)
That's debatable.
[They exchange awkward looks at their stereo response.]
KELLER
If that freeze lightning thing happens again, people could die.
MCKAY
(petulant)
They'll slow me down.
KELLER
(scolding)
Hey! What happened to that humble thing we were going to try today?
[McKay looks chastened. Malcolm looks from Keller to McKay in bemusement.]
INT—RECEPTION AREA
[Malcolm, McKay, and Keller stand on the stairwell. Malcolm speaks to all the guests who stand in rapt attention.]
MALCOLM
…The result is what I am calling "freeze lightning."
MCKAY
(muttering under his breath)
Unbelievable.
MALCOLM
It is the sudden and immediate transfer of heat from a localized area, and it is potentially very lethal.
MCKAY
Look, we need to figure out how to collapse the matter bridge, stop it from drawing energy from the heat-sink, otherwise it's going to get "unlivably" cold in here.
FEMALE SCIENTIST
Why don't we just turn this containment field off and get out of here?
[Others murmur their agreement.]
MALCOLM
Well, for one thing, it's tied into the basic function of the matter bridge, so we can't just shut it off.
MCKAY
And even if we could, it houses so much cool air now that it would create a…sudden massive cold front as soon as it drops. I mean, we're talking high-speed winds, tornados, an..instant mega-storm.
[Several scientists murmur and shift worriedly.]
MALCOLM
Not to mention the fact that the heat-sink draw heat not just from this facility, but from the entire planet. We cannot allow that to happen.
NYE
Why don't we just destroy it? Just bash it apart?
MCKAY
(slowly)
Because that could create a tear in our space-time?
NYE
Never mind then.
MCKAY
(annoyed)
Yeah.
[A blast of freeze lightning goes through the room, striking the wall over the heads of several guests.]
KELLER
Look. You guys are the best of the best. I'm sure if you work together, you'll…come up with something.
[As time has passed, the attendees are all grouped around various white boards, marking them with formulas and equations. Several are in heated battles with each other.]
FEMALE
That will never work.! Look, just give me two seconds to…
SCIENTIST TWO
No, no.
[McKay works with Bill Nye and Malcolm Tunney.]
NYE
…all wrong!
MCKAY
Watch who you're correcting, "Science Guy". My PhD is not honorary.
NYE
Hey, look, I'm an engineer. I can do math. Just-just-just listen to my idea.
MCKAY
I have been listening to you, and that is what led me to believe that you are a moron!
[Nye blinks and rears back in angry shock.]
MALCOLM
If it's any consolation, you're both wrong.
MCKAY
(scoffing)
And you're right?
[Malcolm nods.]
NYE
(scoffing)
We're supposed to listen to you? you're the jerk that got us into this mess!
MCKAY
I have a workable theory!
MALCOLM
Yeah, a "theory".
MCKAY
Maybe take into account the fact that I have some experience with this, that I have been doing work that is years ahead of anything you guys have even been dreaming of?
MALCOLM
(talking over McKay)
Well, you still haven't got that out of your system…
NYE
(talking over McKay)
….we should be taking a time machine, maybe so that we can…
MCKAY
(talking over Malcolm and Nye)
I think that's kinda what I'm getting at.
KELLER
(shouting over everyone)
Hey!
[She smacks her hands together loudly. Everyone in the hall stops arguing and turns to her.]
KELLER
(admonishing)
This is embarrassing! Look at you! The greatest minds this world has to offer, and if I didn't know any better, I'd think there were a bunch of sixth graders in here. You guys need to suck it up and get along.
NYE
It's like I've always said. You see, people are more alike than they are different—
KELLER
Not now, Nye!
NYE
(contrite)
Okay.
KELLER
Our lives are at stake here. We need a solution, and we need this fast. Please…come on, the rest of us are counting on you.
[McKay tentatively raises his hand.]
KELLER
Yes, Rodney.
MCKAY
I think I'm onto something. I…it just needs some ironing out.
KELLER
Okay. Great. Guys…
[She gestures for others to join McKay.]
NYE
(guiltily)
Yes.
MALCOLM
(guiltily)
Yeah, well, let's have a look at it….
NYE
Fresh eyes.
MCKAY
We'll start-we'll start with Bill's theory…
[More scientists gather around. Keller notices Kramer still standing beside her, looking sadly out into the crowd. She walks over to him.]
KRAMER
They'll figure something out.
KELLER
I'm sure they will. Let's just hope it's before someone dies.
[He looks at her.]
KELLER
You know, my Uncle George, he always hated the phrase "save the planet."
KRAMER
(nonplussed)
What?
KELLER
Well, he just thought it was a little backwards, you know? 'Cause the planet's going to be here no matter what happens. It might be a giant, unlivable rock, but…it's going to survive.
KRAMER
(incredulous)
So you're turning this into a discussion on semantics?
KELLER
What I mean is, Mr. Kramer, the work you're doing…isn't about saving the planet. It's about saving lives. And that's a noble pursuit, trying to save billions of people…but it's no less noble to save a hundred. These guys, no matter how smart they are, they could use some help. One phone call could get that help here. Now please…please let me make that call.
[He nods. Keller smiles and swallows in relief.]
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS CORRIDOR
[Keller and Kramer head toward the communications room. They head to a door whose security controls have been frozen by a prior blast of freeze lightning.]
KELLER
Oh, don't tell me.
[Kramer kicks the door open to the communications room. Sparks fly on the frost-blasted equipment.]
KRAMER
Oh, God.
[He heads over to examine the equipment.]
KRAMER
Oh, I'm so sorry.
KELLER
Can you fix this?
KRAMER
No. We're completely cut off.
[Keller sighs and rubs her arms to keep warm.]
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS LAB
[A thermometer display shows the room is at 36 degrees Fahrenheit. Kramer huddles for warmth as Malcolm hovers over a workstation. McKay rushes in and hands his jacket to Keller, helping her put it on. Other scientists are also scattered through the room.]
MCKAY
(irritated)
Well, that's terrible news.
KRAMER
It's my fault. I should've—
MCKAY
(cutting him off snidely)
Yes. You should've.
MALCOLM
You need to see this.
[McKay comes over to Malcolm.]
MCKAY
Aw, the cold temperatures are affecting the containment field emitters. I mean, they're weak, they're on the verge of failing.
KELLER
That's great! We can get most of the people out of here, no? Make a call to the military?
MCKAY
We're surrounded by desert air. I mean, the temperatures inside the containment field have gotten very, very cold. Introducing a sudden and immediate blast of icy air is going to create one…helluva vortex storm.
[McKay looks to Malcolm, who nods his agreement.]
MCKAY
There's no way a cell transmission's gonna make it through, let alone actually get people out of here safely.
KRAMER
We can ride out the storm.
MALCOLM
No. If we can't shut down the device, the heat-sink's going to keep feeding cold air into that weather system. It'll-it'll never stop.
KELLER
That's not good.
MALCOLM
No. I'd…rather that didn't happen.
MCKAY
(inspired)
No, no, no, no. This might be a good thing.
KELLER
What is it?
MCKAY
Well, the containment field is dying a slow but consistent death. It might be weak enough to actually punch a cell phone signal through now.
MALCOLM
(excitedly)
Oh, you know, you might be right.
[He pulls out a tablet computer and pulls up a schematic of the facility.]
MALCOLM
Okay, this is probably our best bet. These two emitters are the weakest. Aw, it's a bit of a run from here, so I'd better get going right now.
[He starts off. Keller hurries to block his path.]
KELLER
Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Give me your cell.
MALCOLM
Huh?
KELLER
We need you here to help Rodney dismantle the bridge. I-I'll make the call.
MALCOLM
(bemused)
I—
KELLER
(insistent)
Come on.
MALCOLM
All right, all right. Fine.
[Malcolm hands her his Blackberry.]
KELLER
Thanks.
[Keller picks up a walkie-talkie by the door.]
KELLER
I'm going to radio once I get through.
MCKAY
(worried)
Good luck.
KELLER
You too.
[She looks at him, then hurries out.]
MALCOLM
She seems like a very capable woman.
MCKAY
She sure is.
MALCOLM
It's your sister, right? Is she single?
[Malcolm turns back to the other scientists. McKay sighs in annoyance.]
MCKAY
All right, where were we?
NYE
Your idea of overwhelming the bridge to the point of collapse—it's a good one. It's right on track.
MCKAY
But…?
NYE
Everybody here thinks it means we've got to dial up the heat-sink. It's going to get even colder.
MALCOLM
And that could result in an unpredictable amount of freeze lightning.
MCKAY
Which could kill us all.
MALCOLM
Right.
KRAMER
The facility's furnace just went down.
MCKAY
W-what?! Well, how did that happen?
KRAMER
We've been running at 120% for the last hour to compensate for falling temperatures. We're in the middle of the desert. The facility's not meant to be heated like this.
MCKAY
(caustic)
Well, we're gonna get below freezing pretty darn quick now.
MALCOLM
All right, well we can't power down, 'cause it generates its own power.
NYE
And we can't wait for the containment field to collapse because the storm will probably kill us all.
MCKAY
(interrupting)
All right, guys, we don't have a choice, okay? We gotta wait for the bridge to peak, dial up the heat-sink, see if we can overwhelm it. I know it's dangerous, but that's…all we got.
MALCOLM
(shaking his head)
Uh…
[He and Nye exchange resigned looks and shrug at McKay, agreeing to his plan..]
MCKAY
(bombastically)
Okay, look. There's too many people in here. I have important work to do. I do not need you in the way. So, everybody, out!
[He holds his head in his hand as the other scientists leave.]
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS CORRIDOR
[Keller juggles the cell in one hand and the tablet in the other as she searches for a signal.]
KELLER
Oh, come on…
[She continues to move the cell around. Finally she sees a signal bar.]
KELLER
Oh, thank god.
INT—STARGATE COMMAND
[Harriman picks up the ringing telephone.]
HARRIMAN
(into phone)
General Landry's office.
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS CORRIDOR
KRAMER
(into phone, desperate)
Yes, this is Doctor Jennifer Keller. I need to speak to the general immediately. It's an emergency.
INT—STARGATE COMMAND
[Harriman can only hear static on his end of the phone.]
HARRIMAN
Hello?
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS CORRIDOR
HARRIMAN
(over phone, very staticy)
Hello?
KELLER
(into phone)
Hello? This is Doctor…
INT—STARGATE COMMAND
[He hears nothing but static. Shrugging, he hangs up and looks at the phone with some interest.]
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS CORRIDOR
KELLER
(into phone, sadly)
Hello?
[Keller listens but hears nothing. She checks the phone, but realizes the signal is lost.]
KELLER
Son of a bitch!
[She tries again to find a signal.]
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS LAB
[Malcolm, McKay, and Nye surround a work station.]
NYE
Should we warn everyone we're about to do this?
MALCOLM
No, no. That would just cause a panic.
MCKAY
It's probably better they don't know. I mean, we have no way of moving people to a safe area. Plus, we have no idea where the next freeze lightning strike could hit.
NYE
(considering)
"Freeze lightning." You know, that's a bad name.
MCKAY
(innocently)
Well, don't look at me. It was his idea.
[Malcolm stammers incoherently.]
MCKAY
(loudly, over Malcolm)
Okay, here we go.
INT—RECEPTION AREA
[Freeze lightning blasts through the room destroying the banquet table, letting the tablecloth and platters of food fall to the floor.]
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS LAB
[Two lightning blasts rock through the room, sparking some minor equipment.]
MALCOLM
Shut it off.
MCKAY
I can't. It hasn't collapsed the bridge yet.
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS CORRIDOR
[Keller still searches for a cell signal.]
KELLER
I had a signal before. Come on.
[A blast of lightning tears through the section, striking a water pipe over Keller's head and dousing her in freezing spray.]
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS LAB
MALCOLM
(insistent)
It's not working!
MCKAY
We just need to give it a little more time. Just a little more time…
[Another lightning blast shoots over their heads. They duck to avoid it.]
MALCOLM
The lightning strikes are freezing up whole sections of the facility. Everyone is getting isolated.
MCKAY
Look, it doesn't matter. They'll melt eventually if we can shut this thing down.
NYE
You are going to kill us all!
MCKAY
Hey look, I just need to keep doing what I—
[Suddenly all the power levels go down. McKay spins over to where Malcolm is by some other computers.]
MCKAY
What did you do?
MALCOLM
I turned it down!
MCKAY
What?! Why?
MALCOLM
It was too dangerous.
MCKAY
Yeah, but we were almost there. It was peaking out! It was going to work.
MALCOLM
Yeah, and we would all be dead. We just have to come up with something else.
MCKAY
Yeah, something fast, because the containment field's about to fail.
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS CORRIDOR
[Keller looks around and sees doors at both ends of the corridor are sealed shut by frost from the lightning.]
KELLER
Great.
[She studies one of the door seals.]
KELLER
Oh, not good.
[She digs into the pocket of McKay's jacket and pulls out the radio.]
KELLER
(into radio)
Rodney, can you hear me?
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS LAB
MCKAY
(into radio)
Please tell me you got through to the SGC?
[The conversation switches between McKay's and Keller's locations.]
KELLER
(into radio)
No.
MCKAY
Well, you gotta keep trying.
KELLER
I'd love to, but my phone got a little soaked. It-it's not even…turning on.
MCKAY
What?
KELLER
My hallway got hit by that freeze lightning thing.
MCKAY
Are you okay?
KELLER
I am now, but I won't be for long.
[Malcolm approaches McKay.]
MCKAY
Wh-what happened?
KELLER
(weaker, shivering)
I'm frozen in, and the pipe's busted open. My body temperature's dropping really fast.
[McKay looks to Malcolm.]
MALCOLM
(to McKay)
Okay. I-I'll radio security. I'll get someone out to her right away.
MCKAY
(into radio, worried)
Look, security's on the way. I ne-I need you just to-just to sit tight and try to stay warm, okay?
KELLER
Okay. Sorry I didn't get the call through.
MCKAY
You did your best.
KELLER
Did you shut that thing down?
MCKAY
Not yet. We're-we're working on it.
KELLER
Hurry.
MCKAY
Yeah.
NYE
McKay!
MCKAY
(to Keller)
Okay, look, I gotta go. Someone's on the way, all right?
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS CORRIDOR SECTOR C
[Keller sighs and shivers.]
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS LAB
MCKAY
What is it?
NYE
Containment field failure in three…two…one…
EXT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS FACILITY, DAY
[The electrical field surrounding the building shorts out. Wind in the area starts to swirl as a dust storm rises.]
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS LAB
NYE
Winds aloft…reaching dangerous levels.
MALCOLM
If it continues like this, we're going to have a mess of tornados on our hands.
MCKAY
Great. Even less time before we die.
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS FACILITY, DAY
[A tornado forms. The sign outside the building is torn off its stand and pulled into the vortex.]
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS LAB
MCKAY
Look, this device is capable of generating its own power, right?
MALCOLM
Yeah, a small percentage of the energy that we're transferring is siphoned off to power the device. So once it's running, it's self-sustaining.
MCKAY
Which is why we can't just pull the plug.
MALCOLM
Exactly.
MCKAY
But it's only capable of powering itself to a certain extent, right? I mean, it has a finite amount of power generation capability?
MALCOLM
Well, yes, of course.
MCKAY
Maybe we've been approaching this the wrong way. We've been trying to force so much power through the bridge that it overloads it. I mean, maybe we should be trying to…starve it. I mean, suck so much power from its generator that it stalls it out.
MALCOLM
Well, technically we could do that, but you'd have to draw an insane amount of power. The heat-sink could never do it.
MCKAY
(inspired)
No. But another space-time bridge could.
MALCOLM
(dubious)
You want to open up another space-time bridge?
MCKAY
The device was rigged to power a single bridge. We open another one…
MALCOLM
(realizing)
And it overwhelms the system and it fails.
MCKAY
It'll work.
[McKay moves to a computer.]
MALCOLM
Well, yeah. But do you have any idea how difficult it's going to be to configure the system to open two concurrent space-time bridges?
MCKAY
I never said it was going to be easy.
MALCOLM
Well, it's going to be impossible.
MCKAY
Hey, I'm Doctor Rodney McKay, all right? "Difficult" takes a few seconds, "impossible," a few minutes.
[Malcolm and Nye look at McKay in disbelief. Malcolm shakes his head and walks away.]
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS FACILITY, DAY
[Three tornadoes surround the buildings. Several cars are thrown into the sky.]
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS CORRIDOR SECTOR C
[Keller is crouched in a corner. The hallway is ankle deep in water from the busted pipe.]
KELLER
(into radio)
Rodney, can you hear me?
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS LAB
[The conversation switches between McKay's and Keller's locations.]
MCKAY
(into radio)
Have they got you out of there yet?
KELLER
No.
MCKAY
(to Malcolm)
Tunney, what's the deal? I thought you sent security.
MALCOLM
They can't get to her.
MCKAY
What? Why not?
[Malcolm walks over with a schematic tablet.]
MALCOLM
Oh, that last round of freeze lightning? It sealed off a lot of the corridors. See, they're making their way to her, but it's going to take some time.
KELLER
(weaker)
It's getting harder…harder to stay awake. I'm going into…hy-hypothermic shock.
MCKAY
Jennifer, just-just hang in there, all right?
[He studies the schematic.]
MCKAY
All right, we're here, right? So we can get to her. It's a straight shot! I mean, they should've come this way, through the lab!
MALCOLM
They're cut off from us too.
MCKAY
(panicked)
Okay, I've got to go get her.
[He starts to go.]
MALCOLM
No, wait a minute, we're a little bit busy right now.
MCKAY
She'll die!
MALCOLM
Yeah, but you know what, if the storm keeps up like this, it's gonna rip the building apart, and we'll all die!
MCKAY
Last time I checked, you were claiming to be a genius. I already gave you the plan!
MALCOLM
A plan full of holes.
MCKAY
So fill them!
MALCOLM
(panicked)
Wh-what if I run into a problem?
MCKAY
Work around it!
MALCOLM
(speaking low, so Nye can't hear)
You're smarter than me.
MCKAY
I know.
[He runs off.]
MALCOLM
McKay!
[Malcolm groans and turns frustratingly back to Nye.]
MALCOLM
(hysterical)
Aw, this is outrageous. I mean, right when we need him the most, he puts it on me, and I'm supposed to be the one to do—
[Nye smacks Malcolm across the face.]
NYE
Man up!
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS CORRIDOR
[McKay runs past a fire hose box and doubles back to grab the ax inside. He continues running, ax in hand.]
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS CORRIDOR, OUTSIDE SECTOR C
[McKay starts whacking at the wooden door with his ax, tearing a small hole.]
MCKAY
Jennifer!
[He peeks through the hole. Keller is lying unconscious on the floor inside. He continues using the ax to pry a larger opening in the door.]
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS LAB
MALCOLM
Okay, I think that's it. Before I run it, just check my math!
NYE
I have been! Why do you think I'm standing here?!
EXT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS FACILITY, DAY
[The tornados still rage outside the building.]
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS CORRIDOR SECTOR C
[McKay has broken through the door enough to squeeze through and get to Keller inside.]
MCKAY
Jennifer! Okay, come on, come on, come on.
[He picks her up.]
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS LAB
NYE
Do it!
[Malcolm winces and presses the enter key. Sparks fly on the equipment as it overloads.]
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS CORRIDOR, OUTSIDE SECTION C
[McKay checks Keller's vitals.]
MCKAY
(frantic)
You're not breathing. Oh my god, you're not breathing. Please, don't be dead. Please, don't be dead. Come back to me. Please. Please come back to me.
[He begins to perform CPR on her.]
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS LAB
[Everything powers down.]
NYE
It worked! The second space-time bridge blew the power supply! Both bridges collapsed!
MALCOLM
(elated)
I did it!
EXT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS FACILITY, DAY
[The storms dissipate, the dust from the tornados settling.]
INT—KRAMER INNOVATIONS CORRIDOR OUTSIDE SECTOR C
MCKAY
(desperate)
Please…
[Keller starts to cough and regains consciousness. McKay helps her sit up.]
MCKAY
Oh, thank god. You're okay. You're okay…
KELLER
I'm really cold.
MCKAY
Me too.
KELLER
(in wonder)
You saved me.
MCKAY
I guess that makes us even. I used an ax. A big ax. I really wish you were conscious, because I think that's the coolest thing I've ever done in my—
[Keller kisses him, interrupting.]
MCKAY
Oh…I don't know what I would've done if I lost you.
KELLER
I love you.
[McKay looks stunned.]
KELLER
I have for some time now. I just wanted you to know.
MCKAY
(smiling and shaking his head)
I…
[Keller interrupts by kissing him again.]
EXT—UNITED STATES AIRSPACE, DAY
[Malcolm's private jet flies through the sky.]
INT—PRIVATE JET
[Keller and McKay once again sit across from each other. They are still dressed in their now rumpled evening wear. Each cuddles under a blanket.]
KELLER
Well, at least your friends don't think you're a washout anymore.
MCKAY
(petulant)
Stupid Bill Nye is telling everyone who will listen that Tunney's the guy who turned the device off.
KELLER
Because he was the one who shut off the device.
MCKAY
With my coding. It was my idea!
KELLER
(exasperated)
Rodney, does it really matter?
MCKAY
(after a pause)
Yes. Yes it does. I'm sorry. I know I'm supposed to be humble. I know I'm not supposed to care. But I do, I really do. And that's…well, that's something you should know about me.
KELLER
Well, quit, then. Join the private sector. Start doing work the whole world can see.
MCKAY
Well, I've been thinking about it.
KELLER
What? No you haven't.
MCKAY
Hey, my contract with SGC is up this year. Maybe it's time for me to move on, time for me to…do other things.
KELLER
(skeptical)
Please. I don't anyone who loves their job more than you.
MCKAY
(knowing bluff has been called)
Hmph.
KELLER
So you think the military's going to let them keep experimenting?
MCKAY
I think it's highly unlikely. Besides, geoengineering's a dumb pursuit anyway. I mean, no one person's going to solve global warming. We all have to do our part.
KELLER
(deadpan)
Like not take private jets.
MCKAY
Well, they were going our way anyway.
[They both smile and chuckle.]
KELLER
(coyly)
You know, it's kind of nice just me and you back here.
MCKAY
Right.
[Keller raises her eyebrows with an expectant look.]
MCKAY
(realizing)
Right! Wait, you were legally dead a few hours ago. You were practically frozen. You really want to…
KELLER
Well, it's either that or you keep telling me how you and only you saved the day.
MCKAY
Nah…
[He changes seats to sit next to her.]
MCKAY
I'm trying this whole, um, "humble" thing out. It seems to be quite a hit with the ladies.
[They begin to kiss, Keller untangling herself from her blanket to embrace McKay as the kiss deepens.]
FADE OUT
END CREDITS
Transcribed for Solutions by Aurora Novarum, November 2008.
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--Michelle 22:36, 29 November 2008 (PST)